The Mother, G&T, slurp, you wag and night out.

1. It was Robert's birthday, but he was too busy being in Scotland to speak to his travelling sisters when they phoned. But it was good to hear The Mother's voice for the first time in almost nine weeks, and she told me that PaulV has won a prize -- he is photographer of the year for his newspaper group.

2. My feelings towards the barman who served me a gin and tonic made with Gordon's, a slice of lemon and some real ice.

3. As if that wasn't enough, he showed me a gecko that was just about to snaffle a moth.

4. Then his friend told me that sometimes tourists refuse to believe in things -- such as communal weaverbird nests, which look like a haystack up a tree. 'They go "that's not a birds nest." So I go "Yeah, you're right. It's a giraffe's food store."'

5. An evening of drinking that included a marriage proposal (no, but it was my first one ever, so naturally it set my girlish heart a-flutter) and a psychotic stroke victim desperate for a fight. He threatened us with a pool cue and some bottles and then threw up on Wayne. Finally, he resorted to begging. 'Hit me. Go on, hit me. You've got to hit me.'

Nordoewer, Namibia