My friend Rich Troll died at the weekend. We met over the internet when I was 17. I met him twice - he lived in New York, so our friendship was mainly conducted by email. He was only forty or so, and his death was so sudden that I still can't quite believe he is not going to be checking his email again. There are so many beautiful things about him, that it's hard to confine myself to just three. But as a writer himself, I'm sure he would appreciate the discipline.
1. If you sent Rich your novel asking for his thoughts, he would actually read it and then send back a long report, pulling no punches at all.
2. Rich encouraged me in my webzine days, contributing, commenting and subbing. He shepherded me through a German expressionist film fad. He sent me flatteringly intellectual books to help my writing or to answer some of my many questions.
3. He was a dedicated parcel poster. Every birthday and every Christmas, and oftentimes in between, a box would appear with a book, CD or afilm he thought might please me, usually packed round with a few sweets and a small extra present for a friend I might have mentioned.
For the last ten years I have been saying: 'One day, I'm going to visit New York and Rich will show me round.' I never did because it never even crossed my mind that one day it might be too late. But now it is and I've missed an entertaining, quirky tour that would take in film sights, historical oddities and curious miscellanea, spiced by his thoughtful opinions. Readers: never assume it can wait.
I feel totally the same way about the last para Clare. We missed out on something really special, and just because we were 'too busy'. Note to self - good friends are far more important than work. Enjoy their company while you can.
ReplyDeleteYes, blah blah, but what such opportunities have you seized since?
ReplyDeleteLife IS short, shorter for some, but you can't just bugger around the whole time. Hippy.
ReplyDeleteNonymous, it's barely been a week.
ReplyDeleteClare,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the beautiful tribute to my brother, Richard. He was born the day before my 9th birthday, so I got to name him, and I taught him how to walk. He grew into a terrific guy. Over 400 people came to his wake to say goodbye to Rich and express their condolences to our family. They couldn't say enough good things about him.
Rich's death has been a terrible shock to us all, especially since he was in good health - didn't even smoke or drink.
My parents received your letter, and also Katie's note. They told me how beautifully you wrote about Richard. We thank you for your kind words. They will reply when they can - it may take some time.
Our brother, John, is now monitoring Rich's email. So, if you'd like to contact us, please send John a note.
Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers,
Kathy
I was close friends with Rich since the late 1980s, and even lived with him for a year on Long Island in 1990. He was a genuinely nice guy, who I took most of the major trips of my life with (England/Ireland/Scotland, Newfoundland, Canada, my first trip out to L.A.) and he was the instigator -- he was the one who got me off my butt.
ReplyDeleteA good number of my friends today I know through Rich, and even after I moved to the West Coast he continued regularly visiting my Dad and helping him with his computer. He left too soon, and he will be very missed.
I came across your blog and hope you don't mind if I leave a comment about Rich. I worked with Rich Troll at Rainbow Network, now located in Bethpage NY, but at the time it was in another town. Rainbow is a Television Studio. He trained me on the overnight shift & was truly a great guy. Rich was always there if you needed him & I enjoyed talking with him about film. I remember doing a local play with friends & I half heartily asked if he wanted to see it and sure enough he made it. After some time I had moved off the shift so I didn't see him as much but once in a while we bumped into each other & caught up. After I got married I moved to Rich's hometown and didn't even know he was around the block. About 1 month before Rich passed we lost another one of our co-workers to a heart attack. One of the most ironic things to happen to me was when I went to the grocery store with my young son about 2 weeks prior to Rich's death I was in the aisle & I bumped into my friend Laura & her husband who incidentally work for Rainbow Network & live in the same town. While we were talking about the unexpected death of our co-worker Larry who shows up but Rich. We all began talking about it & saying how strange it was to lose someone in our company that we knew. We all parted ways shortly thereafter. That was the last time my friend Laura her husband, & myself saw Rich. Thinking back I wish I spoke longer but I was happy he met my son. We went to the funeral and it really was packed which was a testament Rich. We all wonder what happened to Rich and for some of us it is difficult moving on without knowing the reason. Anyway thanks for allowing me to write.
ReplyDeletethis sucks
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this I wish I'd known Rich. In some small way I feel as if he has touched my life through your words and I thank you.
ReplyDeleteI think your writing is great. I have lived long enough to see many good people die or be maimed. It seems that all too often our Heroes even mentors die or suffer from some unusual tragedy. Although death especially sudden death is sad, it often reminds us of how important it is to live life with passion. This is of course much easier said than done. It’s as if God says well done friend, its time for you to go.
ReplyDeleteHi Clare, just read your post on Rich, and the comments by readers. Any death is sad but it seems especially so, when the person is a genuine, - and rare, gem. Its always inspiring to know of such people.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.