Cleaning, freakshow and the benefits of adulthood.

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1. I cleaned my kitchen floor. It is a different colour and there are no longer fluffs the size of your fist under the computer.

2. The accountant at the Duke of York who whipped out his hem-hem to show off the 16 piercings to three slack-jawed friends.

3. Learning the words to the last two verses of Seven Drunken Nights.

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