1. Granny has a go at changing Alec's nappy for the first time. She says he has wonderful legs.
2. A fat schoolboy stands out of the rain. When we get round the corner, my mother says: "Poor little boy with glasses -- doesn't his mummy want him?" I tell her that he was probably quite happy because he had his nose in a fantasy novel.
3. I use a paper template to mark a chocolate tart with an icing sugar heart. Quick and dirty, but passably romantic.
