Sunday, March 09, 2014

In passing, saved and cheeky.

1. "They", by which I mean the advice-givers, stress how important it is to look after your marriage when you have children. I suffer terrible pangs of guilt because Nick go for days meeting only on the stairs. Generally one of us is holding the babies while the other does a chore or has a break. But twice yesterday Nick and I found ourselves working together. First thing after breakfast we hung the washing out in the garden; and in the evening we left Bettany in the corner amusing herself with Alec's box of people while we washed up and mopped the kitchen. It will seem tragi-comic to some people that the best we can do for couple time is chores; but I value these minutes because there is no pressure to enjoy ourselves and no expectation of romance. And to my mind that makes these times, in a gentle, homely way, rather magical.

2. To pull out a March edition of a gardening magazine from three years ago and take a few ideas and plans away from it. I took this particular mag for a year and then stopped because I didn't have time to read it each month. I'm glad I kept all 12 copies -- I'm normally not happy to hoard old magazines unless there's something specific in them that I really liked.

3. Alec has not eaten any lunch, which means no Milky Bar. The way he wanders into the kitchen at 3pm, climbs into his chair and says "What about my Milky Bar?" When I say "No", he laughs at me.


  1. Do you know, my husband rather looks down on the couples who do supermarket shopping together - why send both of you to do a job that can be done by one - but what I see is people actually reaffirming their relationship. Sometimes it's a tetchy one ("Why did you pick those ones up? You know I don't like those") but mostly it's shoring up their relationship in a rather understated, solid way - "You sort out the fruit and I'll do dairy." And it's also spending time together. Not a bad thing.

    1. I think if you stop seeing housework as work and start looking at it more in the way that some people look at self-care, almost a sort of luxurious sensual experience, it becomes a lot more attractive and satisfying. I'm also starting to see why some people get so excited about new cleaning gadgets and products!


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