Don't say that, the king and party animal.

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1. We spend much of the day making a list of words forbidden in usernames on our website. We need to break every tabboo, which causes hysterical laughter; and every so often, someone will come up with a new phrase which needs to be discussed before it can be added to the list.

2. Katie has had a bad day. But a martini, a shower and the prospect of a night out with Paul Elvis Chan cheer her up.

3. Mark B has asked that his lovely soft jumper be mentioned.

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