1. "Mummy, would you like a little tiny bite of my chocolate?"
2. There is about to be a meltdown because I have offered hot cross bun and a cup of milk as a snack instead of "cakey in paper or a bic-bic from up there".
I am really quite tired and not at all in the mood for a tantrum. "Well all right then, would you like a cupful of earwax and snot?"
And while he is giggling about this piece of wit I manage to quickly re-brand the bun as a Viking bun and the milk as Viking juice, both of which go down very well.
3. I am relieved and delighted to hear that Nick didn't get his supper from "the new hot-dog stand at Charing Cross" because his train was about to leave. Our house is already a menagerie of sickness and would not be cheered up by a weekend long bout of indigestion.