1. Alec is as unsettled as I am after a difficult night. I wish we could go swimming -- a train ride, a change of scene, cool water, a bit of floating and perhaps tea with Godfather Tim would do us both the world of good. But it's not possible today. I run a bath and we splash around together. Alec is more secure at sitting up since we last did this, and it makes life so much easier.
2. To sharpen the carving knife on the steel -- screswish, screswish.
3. Alec is calling from his cot for someone to reassure him. He doesn't understand that the commotion that woke him was me falling downstairs, and that the person he wants most is being comforted by the only other person who would do. I sit on the sofa with Nick, and I want to go to Alec, but I'm too shaken. Then the adrenalin rush clears my head and I can go him.