1. Katie's bed has arrived after months of waiting. She is building it when I get home, carefully padding the joints with pieces of suede so that it doesn't squeak. When complete it is so high that our legs dangle when we sit on it and we feel like six-year-olds. I'm suffering slightly from bed envy because mine is not as lofty. 'But yours is prettier,' Katie says kindly.
2. Stand-up Josie Long explained that she hated her middle because she tended to collect fat there. Then she lifted up her top to reveal her midriff, on which she had written 'marvellous' and drawn a picture of the sea. 'Ocean in motion. I love this bit of the show.'
3. After each joke, Simon Amstell squints into the dark audience as if he is tasting our response.