Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Cold feet, detective and mystery.

1. When you are hot from walking, standing in a stream and feeling your wellies cool down.

2. Towards the end of my lunchtime walk, I spot a man in black and white. Turns out it's a policeman doing some good old-fashioned tracking. He asks to see my boots so that he knows to ignore my footprints. I offer to walk up the field so as not to damage clues, but he says: 'It's all right, the prints I'm looking for are very distinctive.' I have visions of: a loose bear; a man with one leg shorter than the other and wearing stiletto heels; a barefooted doctor carrying a heavy load; a dog walking on its back legs in the company of a child with a wooden leg.

3. In the quiet part of the afternoon, somebody spots our boss working at the lock on the door of the cowshed opposite. We all run to the window to see what he's up to. He finally pulls the bolt out, goes in, and then comes out again. At this point, he spots his slack-jawed employees lollyganging at the window and shouts at us to get back to work.