"No. I need it."
"What for?"
"For... er... why do you want it anyway?"
"A toiletscope."
2. The brie at Mr Speaight's looks particularly succulent, creamy paste squidging temptingly between the chalk-white rinds. I buy the smallest... no, the next smallest piece as a weekend treat.
3. Both children are at nursery and it just so happens that I have a book on my e-reader that I am particularly enjoying. It's called Dear Lupin... Letters to a Wayward Son
and it's a very charming set of genuine letters from a father to a son who is going off the rails. The letters as edited by the son, Charlie Mortimer, are sprinkled with odd bits of family and local news, increasingly salacious as the years go by. Charlie's life does not fly along the trajectory envisaged by his parents and his father is often tough with him, from time to time quivering with rage but always affectionate and where possible, kind and supportive.
