1. Oli's tales of his neighbour. 'At the neighbours' association meeting, he kept calling me Oliver and poking me with his finger and saying the windows needed repainting.' Afterwards, once it had mellowed into a sociable drink, Oli learnt that this undesirable sideburned character, who sunbathes naked in the shared garden, was once a Teddy Boy. Complete with flick knife, which he still has. And he doesn't like the previous owner of Oli's flat. The story is: 'That bugger, 'e took the floor up. 'E shouldn'ta dun that.' So we spent the day threatening each other in raspy criminal tones. 'Mr Flicky doesn't like that.' And 'That bugger took the floor up and nah 'e's undah it.'
2. Ellen bemoaning the fact that it was her last day working with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and she missed her chance to pinch his bottom, which is described as 'like a peach caught in a wood vice' by those who like that sort of thing. HWSNBN has made no statement on this matter, beyond complaining that he can't seem to find trousers that aren't tight.
3. Packing for a move because it gives me an excuse to ditch all sorts of things that I've been hoarding because 'they might come in useful.'
