From the east, shrt pree-sentay-shun abaut your nyew hoawt tub and icy.

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1. This fresh east wind has turned the placid air upside down and inside out until no-one knows where they are or what they should be doing.

2. We three are transfixed -- in Homebase -- by an inflatable hot-tub presentation. It's not so much the lifestyle of year-round back garden cavorting with fair-haired beautiful people that has attracted our interest; it's that the narrator appears to be a Danish speech synthesiser.

3. Putting a tub of ice cream in our new icebox.

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