Sunday, April 24, 2005

Part payment, little'un and manners.

1. 'How much for this rhubarb and a bunch of parsley?' 'That'll be 80p and one of your smiles.'

2. A small girl of about four - bundled up against the marketday wind so she was nearly as wide as she was tall - wearing red and pink stripy tights waddling about holding on to the backs of her knees, with a concentratey look on her face.

3. Granny Pat describing how she ticked off two men in her local pub for 'effing and blinding'. She told them: 'When I was in the army if anyone said f-this or f-that the sergeant would say: 'There's a lady in the room.''

Bee, green beans and movie night.

1. An enormous fat bumble bee at work. She is so bulky that she can knock dead blossoms out of the way as she gets right in to the new jasmi...