1. Sitting under an oaktree watching bluetits skrawch and scrabbit overhead teaching their babies to catch insects, while the babies try to convince their parents that they are so young they still need feeding. They do this by sitting on a branch and flapping until they seem to vibrate.
2. A boy with an eyelinered on mouse face and a broken leg so drunk that all he could do was fall over, grin goofily and throw up. He was surrounded by girls, who stroked his hair and let him lie with his head in their laps. Then his sister shouted at him, threw water in his face and called the paramedics. He was taken away on a stretcher to face his mother.
3. Everyone pissing themselves at Welsh crew Goldie Lookin' Chain: 'HRT is what I need. I'm growin' tits cause of smokin' too much weed.'
Bread, Castles, and Jumping Fountains by Oli.
1. I bought this parmesan and sun-dried tomato bread mix yesterday, made it, and had it for lunch. Home-baked bread, you see. Mmm. Sweet.
2. Knights and maidens used to live in them. In England we have loads of them. Turrety, flaggy and hard. Castles. Everyone likes them.
3. Water features, sculptures, gardens etc., in particular the jumping ones. Nothing was cooler than that as a nine-year-old at the EPCOT centre. Except maybe Space Mountain.